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Humor on EnglishA world survey was done with this question: FUCKPerhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the magical word, which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see there aren't very many words with the overall versatility of the word fuck. Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:
It can be maternal "MOTHERFUCKER!!" It can be used to tell time "It's four fuckingtwenty!" It can be used as an anatomical description "He's a fuckingasshole." Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history: "What the fuck was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima "That's not a real fucking gun." John Lennon "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic "Who the fuck is gonna find out?" Richard Nixon "Heads are gonna fucking roll." Anne Boleyn "Any fucking idiot could answer that." Albert Einstein "It does so fucking look like her!" Picasso "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" Michaelangelo "Fuck a duck." Walt Disney "Houston we have a big fucking problem." The crew of Apollo 13 Now send this to at least 10 people or you'll be fucked! TWO TOUGH QUESTIONSQuestion 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis....would you recommend that she have an abortion? Decide first, no peeking, then press buton for the answer.
Question 2: It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates. Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day. Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening. Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs. Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then press buton for the answer.
Technology NewsBBspot Interviews Apple CEO Steve Jobs by BBspot Correspondent Ralf the DogRALF: Hi Steve, I understand that there will be a lot of new Apple models coming out with the release of OS X. Please tell us about them. STEVE: Ok. First off, all of the new iMacs will come with new foil flower patterns implanted into the plastic case. Some of the higher end models will also have little fairies, elves, and a dragon or two. RALF: Um, well, ok, Tell us about the new OS X operating system. STEVE: OS X will probably ship in a blue box with a red X on the cover. We are considering putting one of those cool security holograms on the package, or maybe even print it on the CD its self. RALF: Will there be any new features in OS X that the public has not been told about? STEVE: Yes, the new DDT. DDT stands for Dynamic Desktop Themes. DDT will let you not just put still pictures on your desktop, but you can put swirling hypnotic patterns, dancing flowers, or all sorts of other cool animated psychedelic clips on the desktop as well. RALF: That's.... well, aahh.... great. Speaking about graphics and animation, tell us about the new Nvidia GeForce 3 cards that will be used in the new Mac models. STEVE: The GeForce 3 cards will come in pink for girls, and blue for boys. Unfortunately, we were not able to print any cool psychedelic patterns on the board itself, but since no one should ever open up there computer, I don't think it will hurt anyone that bad. (ed: Since the iMacs are semi transparent, people might be able to see the cards, but because Ralf realized that he was talking to a raving lunatic, he did not bring up the point.) RALF: Can you tell us about the revolutionary new G3 processor that is being used in the new Macs? STEVE: Our marketing group has told us that they are not that interesting. They are a dull metallic gray, and sort of square-like. RALF: One note of controversy, I hear that a number of people are complaining that the new DDT interface uses 98.32% of all system resources including processor time, leaving the new computers almost unusable? STEVE: That is true. However, our marketing department has told us that people don't want to use their computers. They just want them to look pretty. One more thing, I would like to invite every one to the public release party for the new models. We will be setting up a giant Easy-Bake(TM) Oven in Golden Gate park, so people can make their own iMac cases. We will also be making lots of "Herbal Brownies." RALF: Thank you very much Steve for a very... uh... interesting interview. STEVE: You are quite welcome.
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